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Things I thought were funny when I overheard them on the train
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My book to wipe my ass with if I run out of toilet paper
My hopeless attempts at adulting
List of things I don't give a shit about
Co-workers I want to punch in the face
Meetings that could have been emails
Reasons why I think that this meeting is bullshit
My book to stay organized as fuck
Brilliant ideas I had while drinking wine
My deepest, darkest secrets and desires
Photos of butts
List of my criminal convictions
Things I wish I could say to my mother-in-law
Christmas turkeys and other things that can get stuffed
My catalogue of dad jokes
New Year’s resolutions and other casual promises I’m not obliged to fulfil