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Grocery lists and plans for world domination
My book to write in to appear busy
Hypothetical arguments I’ve had in the shower
Ways to appear sober at family gatherings
Reasons why I don’t play well with others
Times I was right and nobody listened
My list of things I was right about
Shit that you just can’t make up
Useless stuff to overthink
Times my inner saboteur convinced me

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Smart things I’m going to say later
Things I wish I could say to my mother-in-law
Words that accidentally fell out of my mouth
Meetings that could have been emails
My 2025 diary that's none of your fucking business
List of people who have wasted my time
Things I can put off until tomorrow
Tiny violin concertos I can play for you
Unofficial medical advice

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Ways to pretend I’m working hard
List of reasons why I hate my job
Brilliant ideas I had while drinking wine
Shit I have to write down because I’m old
Juicy workplace gossip
My opinions nobody gives a shit about

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Brilliant ideas I had while pooping
Arguments and conflicts I’ve had with myself
Smart things I’m going to say later
Mondays and other things I’ve come to like since retirement
My archive of flying fucks I don't give
Unsolicited advice I kept for posterity
Random thoughts and other notes I’ll turn into a book one day
Things I need to get done but probably won’t

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Christmas turkeys and other things that can get stuffed
Reasons why I think that this meeting is bullshit
Existential thoughts I had while in the bathtub
Poetry and other shit my brain comes up with
My list of bodies I buried in the woods
Doodles I drew during important work meetings
My most inappropriate thoughts
Times my crystal ball didn’t work
Brilliant ideas I’ll never act on

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My list of things I was right about
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Brilliant ideas I had while drinking wine
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Useless stuff to overthink
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Evil plans and unicorn drawings
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Meetings that could have been emails
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Tasks I need to complete before I can watch Netflix
New Year’s resolutions and other short-lived ideas
My book to doodle in during writer’s block
My hopeless attempts at adulting
Inappropriate comments to make in serious situations
Meeting notes and other boring shit
Things I should tell my therapist
Reasons I want to speak to the manager
Work jokes and other coping mechanisms
My book for writing stuff and drawing penguins
Brilliant ideas I had while drinking bourbon
Great comebacks I thought of three days later

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List of people who underestimated me and how that worked out for them
Fucking brilliant ideas
Meetings that could have been emails
Letter of resignation drafts and templates
Useless stuff to overthink
Things I can’t say out loud
Running late and other sports I’m good at
My deepest, darkest secrets and desires
Notes and other shit to write down
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A customer holding his blue WTF Notebook titled 'Times I was right and nobody listened'
A happy customer holding her red WTF Notebook titled 'List of people who have wasted my time'
A happy customer holding her pink WTF Notebook 'Inappropriate comments to make in serious situations'
A happy customers holding three WTF Notebooks, with the first one titled 'My list of things I was right about'