Hashtag nope: A comedic rant about social media oversharers

Noteworthy

4 April 2023 by WTF Notebooks

Alright folks, gather around, because I've got a bone to pick with those social media oversharers. You know the ones I'm talking about – the people who post every minute detail of their lives online, from their breakfast to their bowel movements.

Like seriously, do you really need to update us on what you had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Sorry Jeff, but we don’t give a rat’s ass about your avocado toast or your protein smoothie.

And don't get me started on the gym freaks. I mean, we get it, Susan, you lift weights and run marathons. But do we need to see your sweaty, red face every day? And stop with the inspirational quotes, it's not motivating, it's annoying. No one wants to see another picture of a sunset with the caption "rise and grind" or "never give up."

Oh, and the couples! The lovebirds who constantly post their mushy photos and captions about how perfect their relationship is. Newsflash, nobody's relationship is perfect, and your over-the-top posts just make us single people feel more alone. And please, for the love of god, stop with the cringey couple hashtags like #myboo or #couplegoals. We know you're in love, you don't need to rub it in our faces.

And let's not forget about the mommy bloggers. We get it, you have a kid, congrats. But do we need to see 500 pictures of little Timmy's first steps? Or hear about every single detail of his potty training journey?

And don't even get me started on the "mom shaming." If you're not breastfeeding, you're a terrible mother. If you're not using cloth diapers, you're harming the environment. Can we just let parents do their thing without judging them?

Finally, let’s talk about hashtags. I mean, what the hell is a #blessedlife anyway? Is it some kind of new religion where you worship your own reflection? And if you're using a hashtag for every single word in your post, you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what the hell you're doing with your life.

Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't post anything on social media. But for the love of all that is holy, please have some self-awareness. Nobody needs to see a photo of your dinner, unless you're Gordon Ramsay. And even then, I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a shit.