Poop face: A comedic rant about emoji


14 July 2023 by WTF Notebooks

A close-up of a pile of yellow balls with emoji faces

Ladies and gentlemen, WhatsApp addicts and iMessage users – gather round for a moment of reflection. It's almost World Emoji Day 🥳 and it's a day to celebrate those little pictures that have taken over our communication channels. But let's be honest, we have a love-hate relationship with these digital hieroglyphics.

On one hand, you find yourself hopelessly addicted to them. Who can even still imagine writing a text message without throwing in at least one poop emoji or a thumbs up? They're so damn convenient. You want to convey happiness? Slap a smiley face on there. Feeling flirty? Send a couple of heart eyes. And when you just can't find the right words to express how you're feeling, there's always that damn smiley face.

But on the other hand, doesn’t it feel like we're regressing as a species? It's like we're slowly returning to the days of cave paintings, only now our cave walls are virtual and our pictures are made up of pixels. Sure, it's great that we can communicate with people all over the world in a matter of seconds, but do we really have to do it with cartoon faces?

As British journalist Jonathon Jones writes in The Guardian: “With it's poodles and noodles and happy poos, Emoji is becoming the fastest growing language in the UK. What a huge step back for humanity.”

Oh, and don't get me started on the confusing nature of some of these damn things. I mean, who knew that the eggplant emoji would become the symbol for a man's... 🍆 well, you know what. And then there's the peach emoji, which has become a stand-in for a butt 🍑. I don't know who started that trend, but it's certainly a bit cheeky.

But it's not just the sexual innuendos that are confusing. There are plenty of other emoji that I just don't understand the meaning of. For instance, name one situation one would find a genuine use for a poop face 💩. And how about the levitating man in a suit 🕴️? Or the uncovered manhole 🕳️?

It's almost like there's a secret emoji society out there that's hiding the true meanings from us.

But hey, isn't that the beauty of communication? We don't always have to say exactly what we mean. Sometimes, a picture really is worth a thousand words... even if those words are a little bit confusing.

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