25 sassy birthday wishes to make them laugh out loud


16 June 2023 by WTF Notebooks

A greeting card on a wrapped gift, saying the words

Birthday celebrants and well-wishers – are you tired of the same old boring birthday greetings that are as exciting as watching paint dry? Well, worry no more because it's time to spice things up with some hilarious and off-the-wall birthday wishes!

We’ve put together a list of 21 rib-tickling and sassy birthday wishes that are sure to make the birthday guy or gal laugh so hard, they'll forget how old they are! From witty one-liners to sarcastic quips about the agony of aging, these birthday wishes are perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor and an even better ability to laugh at themselves.

So what are you waiting for? Grab a slice of cake and dive into our list of witty one-liners and tongue-in-cheek takes on the aging process. It's time to celebrate another trip around the sun, and we're going to do it in style.

Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!

I’m not going to make any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Did you know, there are countries that are younger than you?

It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook.

You would have loved the birthday gift I thought about getting you but then didn’t.

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.

Every year on your birthday I get reminded of your best quality: You’ll always be older than me.

Intelligent, handsome and witty. But less about me, it’s your birthday after all.

Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed.

As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

May you live so old that the mere sight of you horrifies young children and ex-lovers.

Congrats on reaching an age when getting a “quickie” means a 15 minute nap.

You always were the talented one. I hate you for that.

You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!

In “honor” of your “birthday” I’m going to “use” a lot of “unnecessary” quotation marks.

At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Poems are hard. You’re old.

It is better to be one year older than one month late.

You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.

I hate surprises, so I really hope you have good food at your party.

May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.

Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions!

If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.

Congrats on escaping the womb many years ago.

And finally, if you’ve missed someone’s birthday: 

I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long.

Ordinary is overrated

WTF Notebooks are here to make you laugh out loud. Custom-printed to order, they are the perfect gift for friends, family, co-workers or yourself. Say goodbye to boring notebooks and hello to WTF Notebooks!

Learn more
A woman with a glass of wine, laughing at her WTF Notebook titled
A pink WTF Notebook titled A black WTF Notebook titled
Grab your free printable shit list

Let us clog up your inbox and we’ll send you a free, printable to-do list for all the ‘Shit you need to get done but probably won’t’

Be the first to know about new title releases, email-exclusive promotions, and other noteworthy news

We won’t spam you, that’s a pinky promise!

WTF Notebooks page element
A customer holding his blue WTF Notebook titled 'Times I was right and nobody listened'
A happy customer holding her red WTF Notebook titled 'List of people who have wasted my time'
A happy customer holding her pink WTF Notebook 'Inappropriate comments to make in serious situations'
A happy customers holding three WTF Notebooks, with the first one titled 'My list of things I was right about'