Co-workers I suspect are vampires

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Co-workers I want to punch in the face

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Co-workers I will get fired by the end of the year

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Common sense and other endangered concepts

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Consequences of my actions

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Conspiracy theories I'm 75% sure are true

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Controversial things the President said today

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Conversations I had with my smart refrigerator

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Decisions made with my money by people who don't have to live with them

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Dipshit of the month nominations

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Doodles I drew during important work meetings

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Dreams I'll never pursue

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Dumb shit I blame on Mercury retrograde

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Dumb things I did without thinking them through

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Emails I wish I had never sent

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Emails I won't respond to

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Emails that could have been a nervous breakdown

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Emergency escape plans for family gatherings

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Employees I'm thinking about firing

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Entitlement and other things I'm entitled to

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Evil plans and unicorn drawings

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Exercise and other things I wish I could outsource

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Existential thoughts I had in the bathtub

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Fake news and alternative facts

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